I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I realize marriage is a very serious matter and not the fairy tale I dreamed of as a little girl. A good marriage will require a great deal of dedication and sacrifice. Because of my love and commitment to you and to our future marriage, I'm trying to prepare myself to be a good wife. I thought that sharing some of my expectations with you might help you to prepare for our marriage as well.

Marriage is a Sacrament, not just a contract or an agreement. It is a special union between a man, a woman, and God. Married couples need to keep God foremost in their lives. If God is not first in a marriage, partners tend to become selfish and worldly. I know there will be hard times in our marriage. Faithfulness to God will make the suffering easier to endure. If we're selfish, we may tend to blame each other, rather than pray and work together.

When you and I are married, I will always try to put God first in my life, just as I try now, and I believe you will do the same. We'll keep the commandments, pray together, attend Mass regularly, confess our sins, and receive the Holy Eucharist. Living in the state of grace will make it easier for us to accept God's will, even when it is difficult.

Just as God made us different, male and female, he also gave us different responsibilities. I'll count on you to be employed, our family's bread winner. You can count on me to do my part too. I'm willing to work until we're joined by our first child. If we're careful with our money and make a few sacrifices before the baby comes, I should be able to leave my job and tend to the more important task of mothering.

Our love is something very beautiful and special, but we both know that marriage needs much more than love alone. It needs respect, dignity, honesty and faithfulness. People that are impure, selfish, dishonest, immodest, disrespectful or unreliable before marriage usually don't change just because there is a gold band on their finger. Marriage will require us both to exercise discipline in many areas. Practice makes perfect, and we both have plenty of time to work on it before our wedding.

Many people don't understand that leading another person to sin, including sexual sin, never shows respect. Because of our mutual respect, we must be mindful not to tempt each other and to avoid tempting situations. Likewise, a self-respecting person doesn't sin to please another person. I know you wouldn't respect me if I'd been sexually free with other men. I know you don't want me to have memories of being intimate with other men. You want me to be pure and free from serious sin, just like I want you to be pure.

Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). We must stay pure for Him to continue to dwell within us. Living in the state of grace will make it easier for both of us to obey God. A woman's body is special because it houses newly created life for the first nine months. My womanhood is God's gift to me, and you should respect the beauty and dignity that goes along with it, just as I respect you.

Our virginity is a special gift that God gave to us. We're able to give this gift away, but only once. By waiting until our wedding night, we'll both be sure it was given to the right person in the manner God intended.

Besides, chastity has many other benefits. We'd both be very hurt and confused if one of us had a sexually transmitted disease. Living chastely we'll never have to worry about pregnancy before marriage. Children deserve two parents. For their sake it's worth waiting. We both want to give our children the best -- that means a real family with two parents!

Many people think they're acting responsibly by using birth control. In reality, they're trying to take control away from God. These people haven't really given their complete trust to God. He knows best how many children we should have. Besides, those birth control chemicals and devices can have very serious, in fact, life-threatening consequences. I know you would never ask me to do anything that could harm me physically. If we ever have serious reasons to do so, the Church approves natural means to space births of children.

When children come, we'll welcome them with open arms. Our children will help us grow even closer. They'll teach us to be less selfish. We'll teach them with firm but loving correction, always with dignity. We'll teach them to love God and our Catholic faith.

Our children will need our protection. We'll need to be very watchful of their friends and education so that they don't fall into corruption. To get to heaven they need to be virtuous, just as we're trying to be virtuous. It's up to us to help preserve their innocence and modesty. Most of all, we'll shield them by our good example. They'll learn how to treat others with dignity and respect by the way we treat them and each other.

Know that I trust you and that I will try to be worthy of your trust as well. I'll do my best to never give you reason to doubt my faithfulness. I'll dress, act and speak modestly. I know you'll try to do the same. Acting faithfully and honorably, I pray that we'll never have anything to hide from each other.

We must always strive to communicate kindly and honestly with each other and with our children. I know that many problems in marriage stem from poor communication. We must avoid angry and harsh words, sarcasm, pointless criticism, and name-calling. Peace doesn't come by itself; we have to work at it.

So, my darling, know that I am waiting and preparing for you. Do the same for me. I want to be a good wife to you. I'm waiting patiently until the day we begin our married life together. God bless you.

"A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels...Strength and dignity are her clothing...Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Proverbs 31:10,25,30).