"These are the 90's. What's the big deal? Everybody's doing it!!" You've heard talk like this many times. Have you ever given much thought to what it actually means?

This kind of talk is meant to pressure you into doing things that you probably hadn't planned or wanted to do. The IT that "everybody's doing" is usually something sinful. IT can be drinking under age, using drugs, lying to parents, skipping school, cheating on tests, shoplifting, vandalizing, premarital sex, using birth control or even abortion. Talk like "Everybody's doing it" tempts you by making you feel uncomfortable or unaccepted because you're not doing it. This attack on your emotions is PEER PRESSURE.

Real friends use encouragement, not peer pressure, to invite others to participate in wholesome activities. People who really respect you won't try to manipulate your emotions to get what they want from you. They don't use terms that make you feel badly in hopes of influencing your behavior. The language used to promote wholesome activities is much different from the language used in peer pressure. You don't hear, for example, "Help us promote a campus no-smoking campaign. These are the 90's", or "Help us collect clothing for unwed mothers. Everybody's doing it." Recognizing peer pressure is one of the first steps in resisting it. Be on your guard when friends' words make you feel inadequate or embarrassed for not doing something sinful.

IS EVERYBODY REALLY DOING IT?  Obviously the answer is NO, but many people involved in sinful activity make sure everybody knows that they are "doing it" and that to them it's not a big deal. They may even brag about their sinful actions. Why is this?

People don't like to admit that their activities or attitudes are wrong. Once people admit they are wrong, they have to decide if they are going to continue or if they are going to change. People who boast about their wrong-doings don't want to change. By using peer pressure to get people to agree, to support, and to join them, boasters justify their sinful activities and shun repentance. They convince themselves that what they are doing can't be wrong if others do the same thing.

People with self-respect don't need to brag and they don't need a support group to continue good behavior and wholesome attitudes. They have no desire to sin or to lead others to sin and they don't use peer pressure.

Notice how peer pressure always tempts you with something you think you want -- popularity, acceptance, friendship or even love -- in exchange for your sin. Satan tempted Adam and Eve with knowledge like God's to convince them to sin (Genesis 3:5). The idea of having knowledge like God's was attractive to them, something they thought they wanted. But it was a lie, wasn't it? People who truly respect or care about you will NEVER ask you to buy their friendship, trust or love with sin. If you give in to peer pressure, what you get won't last, because it is a lie. It isn't real.

WHAT IF EVERYBODY REALLY WERE DOING IT?  Consider, for example, two cities side-by-side where everyone is committing serious sexual sins. Perhaps it's your city and a neighboring town. Do you think that God's will or Catholic Church teaching might change because "everybody's doing it"? Are God's laws subject to majority rule or democracy?

Long ago, these two cities really did exist (Genesis 19:4-28). The young men prowled the streets looking for a virgin to defile, but the kind of virgin they were looking for was another guy! It was that bad. Did their persistent immorality influence God's will?

Absolutely not! The two cities were Sodom and Gomorrah. Because of their great evil, God destroyed the cities by raining fire from heaven. They were literally burned off the face of the earth without a trace. Lot and his family were not involved in the immorality and were allowed to leave before the punishment. They were the only people that God spared. They didn't follow the crowd. They didn't give in to peer pressure.

Yes, God punishes sin. No, His divine will and Church law cannot be changed by majority rule. God blesses those who, like Lot, obey Him. God forgives sins through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. There is no sin too big for Jesus to forgive. Don't waste time living in sin. Commit your love to Jesus by obeying Him. Confess your sins to a priest and do your best to avoid sin in the future.

PEER PRESSURE  is TEMPTATION to sin. Learn to recognize it. Escape temptation by leaving the source, such as an inappropriate date, party, movie or conversation.  Peer pressure usually COMES FROM FRIENDS or from people you admire.  Peer pressure offers something that seems WORTH HAVING like friendship, popularity, acceptance or even love.

Girls seeking compliments and attention often tempt young men to sexual sin by immodest dress and flirting. Young men often tempt other guys to commit sexual sin, to vandalize, or to drink too much in exchange for acceptance. Remember, once you give in, you're expected to continue sinful behavior.

Fighting peer pressure isn't always easy. Sometimes it requires sacrifice. Decline invitations to parties where there may be drugs or drinking. To avoid sexual temptation, go out with groups of wholesome friends rather than go out on one-on-one dates. Avoid friendships with people who live in habitual sin: a drug pusher, a gang member, a thief, a liar, the sexually immoral. Their example can lead you to sin. Defend your convictions and God-given rights, even though some disagree. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!

The best way to avoid a sinful lifestyle is to make sure there is never a first time! Put your love for Jesus first. Avoid all sin.

• Avoid tempting situations.
• Avoid individuals whose example is sinful.
• Choose wholesome activities.
• Attend Mass regularly and receive the Sacraments. Confess your sins frequently.
• Respect and obey your parents.
• Stay close to your Christian community for good example and for friendship.
• Choose friends wisely. Real friends don't lead you to sin.
• If you're ever in trouble, GET HELP!